JIMMY NEUTROEN: LEGENDD OF CALL OF DUTY
by XxXD4TR1PL31LL3STXxX
Summary: jimmy neutrooeen and his frands play cuple matches of caell of duty.,. it's vary fun DO NOT STEAAAAAAAAAALLLLL! One-shot.


So there we were, it was just me JimmyScienceN3rd with my two best bros Llamabro69 and XxXUltr4l0rdSw3gXxX as we were about to embark on the desolate, adventurous terrains of the newest DLC for Black Ops 2, Nuketown 2025. So there I was, just me with my bag of Cool Ranch Dorito's and my Mountain Dew Code Red as we were sitting in the lobby waitin for the map to start. We were totes hypin for the Xbox One and Carl made a quite lulzy fart joke about the Wii U and Sheen (my best bro) was actually talking some smack about Major Nelson and the PS4. When the match started, Carl and Sheen were yelling at these two faggy 6th graders bitching and whining about their children's cartoons.

Carl was yelling "I HOPE YOUR MOTHERS FUCK YOU UP THE DICK YOU PLEBIAN FAGGOTS GET LE MAD" while sheen kept doing grunt noises while spilling his weed all over his carpet, shit was mad funny. I think then there big bros got on and started fail trolling them, it was lulzy but also kind of gay because it showed how both parties were pretty mad honestly. It then started the match, it was capture the flag, easy enough, I got out my MTAR with silencer and red dot while Carl the faggot he is got out his shitty Skorpion EVO with Hybrid Optic, FMJ and Select Fire, Sheen was pretty chill though he was using a XPR-50 with Variable Zoom and ACOG scope. The match then began as Carl and me headed out to the other bases house so we could get charlie while Sheen sat up near the backyard trying to protect Alpha from other parties. I think some douchefag on mic was taking the little kid's faggy jucie box so we heard him fucking bitch and whine the whole match, shit was mad gay. I then preceded to line up a quick headshot on the AFK dumbshit niggerfag as Carl takes the kill from me. "What the fuck bro? I had that shot you faggot!" I said. "Come on bro, don't get mad like that faggot ok bo? Seriously, just because you don't have good quick time skills like me you don't have to get your pussy hair in a bunch there gayfag" Carl said. Sheen then got his ass dropped by two newfag brony kids who kept jerking off to their horse cartoon. So then we had to head out to Alpha because Sheen's gay ass couldn't protect himself. I then spilt my Mountain Dew on the bed as Carl ran the fuck off without me and drop shotted some 48 year old virgin faggot who kept spamming some gay song about some sheep or something, sounded like some chinese shit, what a surprise. "Yo Carl, did you hear what that faggot was playing? Hahaha" I said. "Yeah bro, must be some faggot who likes little girl shit hahahaha" Carl said. Carl then got shot while taunting, of course the kid who killed him was one of those brony n00b gaywads. "I love the immaturity of these kids haha" the brony fag said. I then shot his stupid gay ass in the face while he fag taunted like a prissy gay fucker and then replied "Are you sure we are newfag nigger lover? Hahaha, get pwned bitch" I said. Then his gay butt friend came up and knifed me like a pussy and we lost the match. "Nice try kid, go back to your Battlefield shit or something haha" The fag said. His butt buddy came in and said "Haha yeah kid, you clearly are just to immature to talk to decent people, take your "bros" and leave everybody alone" The brony fag nigger said. "U mad brony boy? Huh? is that it bro? Yeah you want some of my Jimmy cock faggot? Haha get your ass back to the stable, i'll fry your horse ass boy HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA get pwned gay bitch" I replied. Sheen then started just RAPING his butt fucker friend and then acted like some game tester for Hewlett-Packard and then the faggot shut up, he said we didn't know anything about technology, what a fag amirite?

We then went to the next lobby and found a bunch of girly newfags who kept spamming some really pussy children's music, it was something to do with like Swonic or something? It was fucking gay, me and Carl then started spamming his Drake Playlist on iTunes that he hacked off of Pirate Bay a few months ago. The next match was starting.. couldn't believe what the map we were playing on next. "Mother FUCKING HIJACKED!" I said. "Aw son of a whore's ass, the match where all these squeaker faggot 6th grade nigger jews like using their shitty assault guns" Carl said. "I use assault weapons Carl, EVERYBODY FUCKING USES ASSAULT WEAPONS BUT YOU BRO hahaha" I said. "Time to get out my run and gun try hard skills class" Sheen said. "Yup, my Type 25 comes to use today, fuck my life" Carl said. The match began and Me and Sheen ran together with our MP7 suppressor's while Carl ran off with two fake ass white 8 year olds with KAP-40's, makes sense Carl runs around with little kids, fucking pedophile. Sheen then got quick scoped by some faggy camwhore who puts her link in her gamertag. Carl just straight HAMMED the match with a kd of like 46-0, he was actually doing some try outs for MLG a couple weeks ago, results aren't in yet. Makes sense he would be like that, fucking faggot uses nothing but SMG's, stupid queer should just sell his Xbox. "UUUGGHHH STRAIGHT FUCKED YALL STUPID ASSES HAHAAAAA" Carl said. "Yes Carl way to go you fucking SMG faggot" Sheen said being on the other team. "Oh lookie loo at the newfag nigger who gets mad at MLG quick snipes" Carl said. "If only you even knew how to pick one up gaywad" Sheen replied sharply. The whole server did a major "Ooooooohhhh...". "Oh yeah faggot? Why don't you fucking 1v1 me then you queefing faggot" Carl said. "Alright, come on piggy boy, you wanna fight bro? You wanna fight you fat fucking faggot?" Sheen yelled sharply on the mic. "Alright then Ultra FAGGOT!" Carl yelled. "Ohohohoooo shit brah! This shit gon be tight bitch hahaaaaa!" I replied. I finally got to see these two fat virgins fight each other's fat and sweat rolls through via Call of Duty, I am definitely the coach of this gay shit.

We left the lobby and we all went into private match as I set up this faggy shit the way they wanted it. We were going to do a quick scope match, if one of them got 3 kills, they win. We chose the map Cargo since it's Sheen's most hated map. They then enter the match as I spectate to see this faggotry unfold. Sheen got out instead of his XPR he brought out his try hard class, he got out the Ballista with ACOG and Tactical Knife. Carl on the other hand looked like a MAJOR fat faggot using DSR with Variable Zoom, Extended Mags and Red Dot Sight. Carl took the first shot, obviously. "HAHAHAHAHAHA YEAH THAT'S RIGHT SUCK MY CARL COCK!" Carl yelled as Sheen went behind him and knifed his sweaty virignity ridden back as he laughed, "GO CRY TO YOUR MAWMA FAT ASS HAHAHAHAAAAA!" Sheen yelled. "You are about to get HAMMED on you skinny prick faggot nigger plebian!" Carl yelled. "Go eat your heart out Carl, you probably will without me telling you anyway fat fuck!" Sheen yelled. I started spamming Chief Keefe and early demos of Wiz Kalifah to shut their faggy but also quite lulzy nerdy asses up. They started having a hissy fit because I was fed up with their terrible skills at the game. Don't they know they could easily get good if they just got an evil controller? What a bunch of newfags amiritebofawnaw? I told them off by telling them that they sucked and should kill themselves, they quit yapping their incepid greasy newfaggy lips and they continued to duke it out. Carl came on top 30-5. "HEY MOTHERFUCKER YOUR GAY LITTLE FAIRY FAGGOT FAT PIECE OF SHIT ASS IS SUCH A FUCKING CHEATER! THAT'S BULLSHIT MAN GO FUCK YOURSELF ALRIGHT PIGGY BOY?" Sheen yelled. "AYE! AYE! AYE! AYE! AYE! AYE! FUCK YOU MAN! MAN THAT'S WHACK MAN I WASN'T TRYIN TO BE AN ASSHOLE BRO! YOUR THE ONE WHO KEPT TELLING ME TO 1V1 YOU COCKSUCKER!" Carl said. "Me? You have GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT BRAH? SERIOUSLY? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO KEPT WHINING ABOUT HOW... OOOOOH I'M THE BEST PLAYER! I'M THE BEST! NOBODY IS BETTER THAN ME, AH GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF FATTY! YOUR AN MLG WASHOUT YOU FAT STUPID BIIIITCH!" Sheen yelled. I then got up and left leaving them to whine and complain. After 2 hours, they shut up and noticed Jimmy had not been talking, suddenly Sheen felt blood trickle down his throat... Sheen slowly fell to the ground unconcious.. Sheen was dead. Carl then slowly got creeped out and wondered why none of them were talking, he said fuck it and played a couple rounds of S&D. Carl then slowly felt breathing down his neck... he then slowly faded into unconsciousness, he was dying...


End file.
